I'm about to turn 30 this year. Hard to believe as I started this blog when I was 23. I was in my last year of art college. So two degrees, a masters and starting a PhD later - I'm still here. I've left Ireland to go to the UK (as a lot of us have) and I am now starting my thirties as a much wiser person for it.

I have been thinking about how different my life is now. How much has changed? How am I different? Here are some of the differences that getting older has caused me :

1 - My Skin is a real concern now.

I cared about my skin when I was 23. I loved my lotions and potions but wasn't in a position to care too much about what they did. As long as I exfoliated and moisturised and removed make-up then I was fine. I didn't have a lot of money as a student and wasn't too bothered about the expensive stuff. That has all changed. I am now obsessed with my skin. I drink so much water in order to keep my toxins flushed through and cause less spots, I buy a lot of skin care in the hopes of changing my skin and preserving what I will need in ten years time. I now think nothing of spending a fortune on a cream if it works. My skin is now less dry then it was when I was 23 but my eyes are drier. Eye cream was a thing I didn't factor into my routine in my twenties - it is now. I am planning on making a bid to stop smoking next month to help preserve it more. I am getting less spots then I did but I still get them - which sucks. I am now getting more scars from them as my skin doesn't bounce back.

2 - Less make-up

I wear a lot of make-up for work but that is work. I am now all about taking a load off. I wear nothing on my days off. I mean not even mascara. This is to allow my skin to breathe and reboot. But I have noticed that gone are the days where I am reaching for bright blue shadow to just go to town with and I am now wearing simple make-up. I love a good Naked palette and a BB cream. My love of theatre make-up is there still but now, I don't want to have a lot on. It's taken me years to take off the layers. I was never one for bulletproof foundation or anything but I did love mental make-up. I just can't do it anymore. I feel awkward. So its about simplicity now.

3 - Drinking is different.

There  is no such thing as not eating before drinking now. I never really enjoyed shots or vodka anyway so what I drink hasn't changed. Actually, I can just afford nicer stuff now!!! I was drinking cider when I was 23 and I drink it now too! I prefer more wine now then I did however. I cannot go straight from work for drinks and expect to function the next day. I have to eat first. It sucks but this is how it works now. I can also expect a full day of feeling crappy as well.

4 - My life goals have changed.

I have been frequently told that I would start wanting a baby instantly upon turning 30. This is mainly told to me by parents who find my not wanting a baby quite weird. I don't want children. There, I said it. I have broken down in the past and softened the blow to parents by adding the word - yet to that sentence but the truth is - I just don't. That hasn't changed since I was 6 and told my mother I would never have kids. So yeah, it would be nice to have no judgement! What has changed is what I want in life in terms of a nice apartment and a nice partner and possibly settling down. I want to find someone, somewhere and just live. This is opposed to me aged 23 who would happily inform people that marriage was awful and a waste of time before returning to the dancefloor with my can in my hand. Slowing down is natural and fine. I don't seem to be as keen to do the whole club thing either. I'm happy with just pubs and late bars. I want a conversation not a shouting match over the sounds of club life.

5 - People take you seriously now.

As an undergrad - no one gave a shit what I thought. It wasn't serious. Now, as a PhD student - I am expected to publish, be an expert and not be so light hearted with everything. It is really scary. I apply for things and am taken seriously rather then, just another bloody student. When did this happen????

6 - My clothing is less complicated.

Aged 23, my hotpants were my Saturday night best friend. Sequined, black hot pants which cut my arse to ribbons everytime I wore them. In fact, it was a rare day when I didnt. I would don my leopard print tights underneath as they were the only ones without lines that showed under the hotpants and then into them I would sling myself. I would add to this - platforms that would make a drag queen wince and a PVC costume of some description and out I would go. I wore heels to college with knee high socks, I wore baggy jeans jammed into boots. My style wasn't always on par with fashion or normality but it was always me. I cannot be bothered with it now. I refuse to go out in heels after my car accident because one false move and I rebreak my already smashed pelvis. I wore heels from myfriends house to the pub last year and he had to help me walk. Those days are gone now kids. I have retired the hotpants in order to be able to sit comfortably. I now wear whatever I was wearing, layers because it is COLD here and a massive scarf. I appreciate that this not sexy and doesn't make me appeal to men but until the day that I care what men think of me - this is how it will be. I also prefer jeans now because tights are awful.


AGED 23
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1- Wanted to move to london
2 - Wanted to work in art
3 - Dressed a theaterical nut job
4 - Moved to Dublin after graduation from art college
5 - Drank Bulmers but was starting on white wine
5 - Lived alone in a tiny flat in Fitzwilliam Square
6 - Wore sequined hot pants a lot
7- Raised money for charity
8 - Had a fondness for soda bread, guacamole and ham
9 - Drank in either Costellos (Limerick) or SPY (Dublin)
10 - Was single and in some dead end relationships for a bit

AGED 29 (ALMOST 30)
____________
1 - Have realised that London and me are not good for each other
2-  Left Ireland to live in the UK
3- Got to work for MAC finally!
4- Drinks in a number of pubs but John Borlaise is local
5 - Wants to work in radio or academia
6 - Gave up the sequins as they were hurting my bum cheeks
7- Living alone in a tiny flat in town
8 - Has been diagnosed with coeliac disease so the soda bread is now gone
9 - Still doing charity work which I am so happy about
10 - At the midway point with my PhD.

 
ACHIEVEMENTS I AM MOST PROUD OF
__________________________
Getting to do a PhD after discovering that I am smarter then I give myself credit for.
Being able to take part in photo shoots, films and music videos for make-up artistery.
Meeting a solid group of people which I am proud to be mates with.
Still raising money, awareness for charities even if it is tiring! Its worth it.
Graduating and leaving Ireland which was bloody hard but worth that pain.
Finally finding a decent Fleetwood Mac T-shirt.
Getting not one but two radio shows in two years with good demos.
My published work which has been fun to write and fun to reseach. Next one is May.
Going to New York by myself even though it was scary travelling alone.

The Less then Proud moments
_______________________
Dropping out my second MA in Trent because it was shit.
Being hit by a car and breaking my pelvis BADLY
Leaving Ireland is a bit shameful. 


THINGS I WANT TO LOOK BACK ON WHEN IM 40 AND WRITING ANOTHER HAPPY NEXT DECADE POST
_________________________________________
Better accomodation
better tastes in wine!!!!
A great selection of boots and no heels
A cat that I have named and named well.
A few posts about giving up red lipstick purchases as there are too many
my friends all still in my life.



I never really post anything like this do I? Still, you only turn 30 once and I hope that anyone else who is turning 30, 40, 50 can relate to it. I give rare glimpses into my personal life - as sometimes it can lead to things which are a bit dangerous as we saw earlier this year. I think its totally a goal I can get on board with. Revealing a little more of myself is a good thing. Blogs are becoming less about the fashion and more about the soul and about the person. I promise to be a little more open this coming year about what goes on in my life and hopefully, it will actually make me sound like a non weirdo.